All my life I have been busy with those questions: What is love?
How can I be a loving person?
Can I love unconditionally?
The closest I have come to an answer is by reading Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving.
I understand:
Love is not a romantic feeling that we ‘fall into’.
Love is a conscious choice to be open to another person, which involves four basic elements: care for the wellbeing of the other, responsibilty for one’s actions towards the other, respecting the uniqueness of the other and knowledge about the other.
And to be able to love someone else, one has to first love oneself, in the sense to care for oneself, be responsible for oneself, respect oneself fully and know oneself.
This involves a lot of work, often facing old wounds from the past.
Sometimes I think it is too much.
Sometimes I fall back into old behaviour patterns.
Sometimes I feel I am a total failure.
Sometimes I want to give up.
But when I remember the light at the end of the tunnel, then I also remember the outcome of all this:
An open heart, meaningful encounters, deep committed friendships, joy, openness for all kinds of experiences and explorations, listening to the ‘other’ and so much more.
In the end it means coming home
❤️